Murphy's Laws of Combat
- If the enemy is in range, so are you.
- Incoming fire has the right of way.
- Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
- There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
- The problem with the easy way out is that it has already been
- Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
- Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are
- The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
- when you're ready for them.
- when you're not ready for them.
- Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
- If you can't remember, then the claymore IS pointed at you.
- The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
- A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to
- If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush.
- Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
- Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
- If you build yourself a bunker that's tough for the enemy to get
into quickly, then you won't be able to get out of it quickly either.
- Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
- If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat
- When you've secured the area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
- Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
- Friendly fire isn't.
- If the sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
- Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down,
never stay awake when you can sleep.
- The most dangerous thing in the world is a second lieutenant with a
map and a compass.
- There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
- A grenade with a seven second fuse will always burn down in four
- Remember, a retreating enemy is probably just falling back and
- If at first you don't succeed call in an air-strike.
- Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
- Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the
- The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
- One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
- A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
- Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are
low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
- The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away
to be repaired.
- Field experience is something you don't get until just after you
- Interchangeable parts aren't.
- No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
- If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove ANYTHING.
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in
- The one item you need is always in short supply.
- The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
- The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of
the weapon's operator.
- Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls
- When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the
most important ones are always illegible.
- Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
- The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know
what they want, but they know for certain what they DON'T want.
- To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal
information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
- The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.
- The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that
billet is filled by someone else.
- When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2
weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy
decides to attack that night.
- The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the
Congressional Medal Of Honor.
- A Purple Heart just goes to prove that were you smart enough to
think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
- Murphy was a grunt.
This was saved ages ago off of some USEnet newsgroup, I did not
write nor compile it. Most likely it was on sci.military.